A note of thanks

I recently got in touch with an old colleague. A fellow student when I was in UK, she’s now a mother-of-3 who’s working hard to get her PhD in London,,, err Bristol actually...

It was a pleasure to get in touch again, especially after learning that she too has a tough time managing being a wife, a mother and a student. I told her that perhaps a lot of readers could have benefited from her stories if she had chosen to be a blogger. She dismissed it off – “it’s too glamorous for me,” or so she declared. I told her that she could always remain anonymous. She shrugged it off – telling me that it’s okay for me because I don’t have to worry about being found out by students who might use my blog against me someday. Funny – I never consciously thought about the possibility of anybody using my blog against me at work. Nevertheless, the fact that I have been pretty blasé about a lot of work-related stuff, might be due to some warning coming from some dark corner of my mind. We can never be too careful, huh?

Anyway, it’s always a pleasure to be able to talk to someone who’s encouraging and understanding since she has gone through basically what I’m going through right now. From time to time, I really appreciate a strong note of encouragement and support coming from someone who has gone through a challenging time herself is even more motivating. It’s like I’ve found a mentor of some sort, whose reassurance would carry more weight because she had personally gone through this winding road I’m currently trudging.

I must admit that while I know that I have the support, love and blessings from those who count most – my husband, my family – I’ve gotten my share of some negative labeling. I try not to think too much about them, but sometimes they could hurt. Funny but true – the same thing viewed as a strong and courageous thing to do, is also viewed as something very selfish and uncaring.

Somebody once said that I did not deserve any sympathy during the first few weeks after my arrival in Tokyo, when I missed my son most, while trying to get used to my new surrounding when my body was still rather weak. She nonchalantly pointed out I don’t deserve any word of support because nobody asked me to do it anyway. It was my choice, she pointed out - I just had to deal with it. Some went further to point out that I deserved the lowest feeling because I have committed the lowest crime of not being a good mother and a good wife. To them I have simply selfishly abandoned my family in order to pursue my own dream.

Heart, fragile being as it is, could easily get deeply hurt as much as it could get healed by words.

That’s why I try to make the most of the positive words I receive while dismissing the offensive ones. That’s why I find it so comforting to be able to talk to and swap different experiences and opinions with someone who made a similar decision.

At the same time, I also find comfort and warmth in other supporting souls. People who tell me that I can do it, that I’ll succeed and it’ll worth the hard times I’m facing now. People who tell me that in a decade or two, I’ll be able to look back with a smile on my face. People who somehow find my stories inspiring, believe in me and inspire me in return.

I can’t name all of you here, but dear friends, colleagues, acquaintances, fellow bloggers, readers - for all your support, doa, warm wishes, please accept my utmost gratitude from the bottom of my heart.